My Son is Only Irritated By His Brother

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My Son is Only Irritated By His Brother

Postby AutumnGirl » Tue May 27, 2014 9:44 pm

Hi, everyone!

I was on this forum a long, long time ago but I don't remember what my username was. Therefore, I wasn't able to retrieve a password and had to make a new account. I could swear it was MyThreeBoyz or MyThreeTots but I must have had another character in there somewhere because I just wasn't able to enter either of those.

Anyway, my son, who will turn 11 in July, is autistic (classic/Kanner autistic) and fairly significantly intellectually delayed. We have been having a problem with him hating sounds from people's speech for years. He screams that people make the "P" and "T" sound too loudly.

We tried about a gazillion alternative routes he could take, including white noise, earmuffs, leaving the room, etc. and now are on to taking him off of electronics such as the Wii and the computer, as for whatever reason, he really, really seems much more irritated after watching/listening to that kind of stimulation.

The thing is - for years, it was JUST his brother who irritated him. His brother is almost 8 and, although he had a speech delay initially, has normal speech with NO harsh sounds to his words. Just typical, normal speech. Yet only Evan (my younger son) bothered Colin (my middle, autistic son). So we thought it was psychological. It was hell because it was every minute with Colin screaming and then he would grab his penis and say Evan's sounds hurt his penis. We have never been able to figure this out.

I can't describe how dreadfully stressful this has been as Colin has been demanding I do something "about" Evan. I'm supposed to punish Evan for speaking? Yet Colin seems really distressed. It is a horrible, horrible, horrible tug of war and it is literally multiple times an hour, and has been for years.

His audiologist said everything was normal in how he physically hears speech...his neurologist suggested medication. Last year, out of nowhere, every child was bothering Colin, not just Evan. He was unbearable in the classroom. In desperation we agreed to medication and Colin started taking 20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) and his classroom days turned right around. The other kids did not bother him one bit.

EXCEPT Evan. That's why I believe it's psychological - because even if something actual precipitated it (i.e. hypersensitivity, hyperacusis, etc.), he is now stuck on how "horrible" Evan sounds...every...single...G.D...minute. EVERY. Minute. Every second that they are together - which is all the time as my husband commutes and isn't home until 8:30 pm and now will be all day long as school is about to let out for the year. I am dreading it.

His neurologist wanted us to try more medications. I wanted to fall into a hole rather than try more meds but this is really literally unbearable at this time, IT NEVER STOPS. It is making me an angry mother. Today I felt such rage that I was literally trembling and that scared me. A few minutes later Colin came up to me and I made myself smile at him and he said, "Are you showing me your smile because you love me?" I almost burst into tears. I told him yes.

Anyway, the neurologist tried something...God I can't even remember what it was now. I have to go look it up but I have a hundred things going on all around me right now and I'm posting out of desperation...anyway, all it did was make Colin sleep. He wasn't living a life. So the neurologist said we should try Abilify. That first night Colin was jerking and twitching. I threw the pills down the toilet and threw the prescription away.

I really feel this has become psychological but how do I explain that to a child with an intellectual delay? I have tried over and over and over again to tell him it is his own feeling in his own head and Evan is NOT speaking oddly...Evan is getting afraid to speak at's like he's living in an abused household, he is afraid...this is so horrible, my family is falling apart.

Can anybody help? :( Please?

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Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:24 pm

Re: My Son is Only Irritated By His Brother

Postby avalonrose » Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:29 pm

Hi there,
i know this post is really old, but I was just wondering what happened with your situation, because I am going through almost the exact same thing right now with my two boys. I am going to have to put my autistic son on Abilify just to get some peace in our household. While we're doing that I plan to get him CBT therapy and also neurofeedback. I would rather go the biomed route but we just don't have time to experiment...our whole family is suffering. I'm sorry you didn't get any responses last year but just wanted to let you know you are not alone! Would love to hear an update from you.
DS1, 4
mild autism/PDD-NOS

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Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:23 pm

Re: My Son is Only Irritated By His Brother

Postby lusterkk » Tue Dec 01, 2015 7:37 pm

Hi I have the similar situation going on in my household. My 16 year old with autism constantly fights his brother, typical 15 year old. If the 15 year old looks at him, my 16 year old thinks he's being talked about and will swing to hit him. the 15 year old fights back to protect himself and the whole household is disturbed. I've had furniture broken bruises on me its getting really out of control and very stressful. I try to keep them apart as much as possible. The 16 year old has been placed on many meds, which only causes him to be more aggravated. I'm in the process of looking for residential placement for the 16 year old. I see no other alternative at this point. It's me and 2 teenage boys, no one else seems to be able to help. I've been waiting on ABA services through Easter Seals for about 3 months know. the puberty stage make it even worse. Any suggestions what be much appreciated.

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Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 9:29 pm

Re: My Son is Only Irritated By His Brother

Postby AutumnGirl » Fri Dec 04, 2015 12:51 am

Hi to both of you. The neurologist wanted to try increasing Colin's fluoxetine to 30mg (from 20mg). So we tried that for 2.5 months. Maybe a tiny bit of improvement but not much. So just today the neuro decided we should bring Colin's fluoxetine down to 5mg and add Risperdal .25mg (point 25 mgs, not 25 mgs - so a quarter of a mg). He just took his first dose tonight. I'll let everyone know how that goes.

As soon as I heard Risperdal I nearly cried, Colin is already having weight problems, plus what about gynecomastia...PLUS this is an antipsychotic! The neuro wouldn't be swayed to allow us to try something else. He says his autistic patients have had tremendous success with this. Honestly between this, and Evan being DXd with ADHD this summer but our not being able to find meds that work for him either I am just in tears. I have so had it, I can't help my kids, period, no matter how I twist myself into a pretzel. Why, why...why is this happening.

Every time I see a parent on Facebook or something whine that Little Morghann won't study harder for her gifted classes which means she's only in the top 97th percentile for her school, plus she's just falling behind on violin I mean my GOD the high schoolers are starting to get ahead of the little darling who is in 2nd grade...I just want to CHOKE THAT PARENT. (Those examples are exaggerations but not by freakin' much!!!)

Sorry...bad day.

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