Sibling Looking for Advice

Discuss getting a diagnosis, educational help & electronic devices and apps for autism.

Moderator: ModeratorBill

nico7
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 10:10 am

Sibling Looking for Advice

Postby nico7 » Sat Mar 05, 2016 10:37 am

Hi there,

I was wondering if I could ask this forums advise. I am originally from the UK and have been living in Australia with my Australian partner for the last four years. As time goes past we realise we would like to permanently settle in Sydney and make this our home.

I am from the UK. My brother is severely autistic and is currently living in a care home in the UK with regular weekend visits to my parents. Me and my brother have a good relationship and I love him dearly. He does have severe autism - for example cannot speak, violent outburst, self harming etc. This is why living in care with weekend contact with my parents has worked brilliantly.

As time goes on my parents have had a variety of health problems, with my dad suffering a heart attack last year. In the future it will be my responsibility to take charge of my brothers care requirements once my parents have passed. And this is what I am looking for advise on.

The options are hard and if you have any advise or ideas on where I can find any further information, that would be wonderful.

1. My partner wants to stay in Australia. He will soon be made a partner in the business where he works. Our life has been great here and we have been truly happy. Could I relocate my brother to Sydney? I'm not sure if its even possible, (even the idea of flying maybe out of the question) but I would love to find out any information and I have no idea where to start looking on finding out what process to go through for relocating a sibling from If you have any websites or other resources you could point me to that would be wonderful. This may not be the best option for my brother as the change could be too much for him and this maybe too selfish on my part but I feel I should look into finding out whats is involved.

2. My parents are considering placing carers in the UK as his guardians when they die and to be honest they will know more about his care needs than myself. I have been out of the country for four years and I couldn't even tell you at the moment what medication he is on! But this fills me with guilt as I am his older sister and I find it hard to think he would be on the other side of the world without any family. Do you have any ideas/websites on how this could work, what is involved in guardianship etc...

3. Do I move back to the UK? This would mean I would pick up the role where my parents have left off. I could keep the weekend visits and my brothers care would not have to change. I'm not saying that the carers wouldn't have gaurdianship too as I'm sure they are more in the know than myself at present but at least I would be a family presents in the UK and can make sure my brother has a voice and keep an eye on his level of care.

I know its selfish but I do love my life in Australia and before my partner and me consider marriage, should this be the end of everything for us now as I should return to the UK and stand by my responsibilities. I know this is a decision I myself would have to make but if I could get your opinions on what you think the best options for a severely autistic adult that would be great.

I admire my parents greatly and I love my brother. He's as all brothers are my annoying little bro but he's funny, he's open my eyes to a new world and
I think has made me a better person. I really do want the best for him and I also want to be able to know that i'm doing whats right for him. Everyday I wake up thinking about this and I just don't know what to do. My parents and I have spoken about it and thats when they mentioned about carers as guardians. I've had so many mixed feelings with this. But I do understand they want me to be able to live my life and also for my brother to have people who know his immediate care needs in control, this makes sense but should I be back in the same country as him to make sure everything is ticking along ok? I want my brother to have a good life and to be protected and safe always.

Sorry for such a long message and thank you for taking the time to read this. Any advise, links to resources or other websites would help. If you've gone through this yourself I would love to hear from you.

Thanks heaps!

:-)

Santosg
Posts: 196
Joined: Sun Aug 17, 2014 5:33 am

Re: Sibling Looking for Advice

Postby Santosg » Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:28 pm

Your brother is lucky to have such a loving and concerned sister. Being half way around the world when you are his only family would be very troubling. Before you make any decisions, though, you really should explore your options. I would say that your biggest priority should be obtaining Australian citizenship. Once you are a citizen, your rights to potentially bring your brother into the country will increase enormously.

I do know from the UK and Australia enjoy a reciprocal health care agreement. When I was living in South Africa I would hear Australians complaining about how they were being taken advantage of by Brits and Kiwis, though was more in terms of medical tourism and not permanent residence.

Despite what the stated laws might say, I absolutely guarantee there are ways to get your brother to Australia. It might take time, it might be complicated, but don't just take a no on face value.

I would contact an immigration attorney to find out more about the ways that you should proceed when it eventually becomes time.

I would contact a number of different care homes in Australia and ask if they have patients from abroad, perhaps ask to be put in contact with their parents.

All of this hinges on you being an Australian citizen, though. Good luck to you and your brother.

nico7
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 10:10 am

Re: Sibling Looking for Advice

Postby nico7 » Thu Mar 17, 2016 7:08 pm

Thank you so much for your reply. It's a great help and I will look into these options!


Return to “Autism Support/Education/Technology”