Why am i such a loser?

Discuss getting a diagnosis, educational help & electronic devices and apps for autism.

Moderator: ModeratorBill

Toolfan
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:11 am

Why am i such a loser?

Postby Toolfan » Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:37 am

Okay yeah i know this isnt really a depression forum even though people with autism like me do have it. Anyways I stopped going to school? Why because i go to one of the most ghetto schools in the world. lets just call it (bronx public schools) anywho it dosent help that im white. and im not talking white im talking pale white. i get picked on everyday because of this and it only brings out my insecurities and panic attacks more and more. I cant seem to do anything right im not joking i can not pay attention im horrible with math and most likeley will fail 10th grade because I've missed more than 80 days so far.. as if i was gonna be something anyway if i do graduate ive been getting Ds and Fs my whole school career.. recently my doctor prescribed me SSRIS which i AM NOT taking.. Im most likely gonna live with my parents forever. No girlfriend, no job, no car Nothing zero just smoking pot all day and listening to music. Thats how pathetic i am and even if i tried to do anything about it i would mess up or embarrass myself so its not even worth it! lets just say i cant communicate well for now. God forbid if i have to do physical communication for a job. I just see a dark path coming to me everyday more and more i give up.

B.L. Pike
Posts: 76
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:29 am

Re: Why am i such a loser?

Postby B.L. Pike » Wed Jan 18, 2017 1:21 am

Toolfan, your screen name is really interesting. What kinds of tools are you interested in? It sometimes happens that people who are interested in tools don't do very well in their school classes, and sometimes they have problems dealing all day with people in their faces, too. But it's people who like to work with tools that keep our world in working order. Plumbing snakes and plungers? Snow shovels and snow blowers? Rakes and hoes and leaf blowers? Wrenches and jacks? Hammers and levels and nail guns? Interested to hear what kinds of tools you're a special fan of.
B.L., who's a tool fan too

Phoenix00744
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:52 pm

Re: Why am i such a loser?

Postby Phoenix00744 » Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:56 am

It looks like you have an interest in going to school but you don't want to because you get picked on a lot and the school system isn't all that good. That is a tough situation. Now I don't know where you live, but it looks like the key thing to fixing this issue is to find a more supportive community to live in which is much easier said than done. Are there other high schools you can attend? Have you considered online high school? Is there any possible way to move out into a better town?

I didn't have it as rough as you do but I've had similar problems and what really turned it around for me was finding friends who really supported me and pushed me towards being successful. You need to surround yourself with people like that. Can you do that where you live right now? There must be other people like you who want to be successful right? Even if you need to go online to find these kinds of friends, do it.

After getting a supportive group of friends you need to find an ambition for yourself. What's your highest aspiration? What motivates you? Find something you could enjoy doing for your whole life and pursue it sincerely. These sounds cheesy but I think if you're really set on something, you'll find some way to make it happen eventually.

I know I just gave some really broad advice but I hope it helps you think about what kind of priorities you need.

Sadiee
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu May 04, 2017 10:15 am

Re: Why am i such a loser?

Postby Sadiee » Thu May 04, 2017 10:39 am

Start with setting smaller goals instead of bashing yourself for not accomplishing something in the future. If the way you tried to take didn't work out for you then there are always other ways. :wink:

I couldn't function at school because I'm very sensitive to stress, made me drop out eventually and I felt just like you do. You just need to realize that some things aren't for everyone! We are just the unlucky bunch that can't roll with the way current school works. Perhaps try online schooling or accept that maybe you don't need all the thing you just mentioned to be happy. Look deep into yourself and find out what you enjoy doing. Set small goals to achieve and you will feel great when they work out.

And if school doesn't work out at all? That's fine, you can still get there by building up work experiences or small courses online instead of big programs. Find out who you are. Not just the things you are bad at but also the things you are good at and learn to use them to your advantage. And yes, everybody has good things about them, you too! Once you know yourself you will learn to accept yourself just the way you are.

Hang in there buddy, you will get there just like the rest of us, I believe in you.

goatmon
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed May 10, 2017 3:01 am

Re: Why am i such a loser?

Postby goatmon » Wed May 10, 2017 4:12 am

Two details here stick out to me. You not taking your medication is one of them.

The second is, well, the way you're talking about yourself and your life sound a lot like you're dealing with depression. Possibly clinical?

SSRIs are usually used for treating depression, right? If that's what you're going through, you probably should be on the medication to help manage it.

Are you not taking it because of side-effects? Because if that's the case, you should tell your doctor about it and they can try to find something that works.

However, if you're just not taking the medication because you don't want to, I would suggest you try it and give it some time.

I'm 34 and I've been dealing with depression since I was around 12, and it just SUCKS.

The thing people don't talk about it, is that depression is a straight-up mental disorder that distorts your perception of reality. It tells you that you're a failure, that you're useless, that there's no point in trying. But that's not all you. That's something off-kilter telling you to feel that way. though I couldn't really see this or understand that until I was on bupropion long enough to start seeing things more clearly. However, it didn't really have much effect until about a little over a month.

Some people are born with poor eyesight, or with legs that don't work. Some people are really short. Some people have a faulty pancreas and have to take insulin shots in order to live.

And sometimes a person is born with a neurological problem that makes unhappy with themselves. Everyone's got something to deal with.

I could be entirely wrong about you having depression, but a lot of what you're saying sounds like depression to me.


Return to “Autism Support/Education/Technology”