Help: Is this normal behavior?

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svnh
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Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 1:21 am

Help: Is this normal behavior?

Postby svnh » Fri Mar 03, 2017 1:41 am

Hi guys! I don't know if it's OK to post this here, but I don't have anywhere else to go with it and I really need some help. My next door neighbor is high functioning. He's 13 - my brothers age - and has always been nice enough. I've worked with kids with autism for a few years so I wasn't surprised by some of his behaviors like him getting into your personal space a bit much or having a hard time staying on track while talking. I've also seen him get very angry, slamming his doors and throwing his favorite stuffed animal down the stairs in our apartment building. We called his mom and were able to calm him down enough. He's always been friendly and relaxed when around us. He loves video games and so does my younger brother so they get along well. I also play Pokemon and recently he got it and seems to enjoy playing with me. The point is he's always been super friendly and he seems like he likes us. For the post, I'll call him Q.

But yesterday he did something really extreme. At first it was just to my younger brother when nobody was in the living room except them. He started twisting my brothers head side to side saying "You're lucky I didn't do it." and it led to him physically putting his hands on my brothers throat and choking him hard enough my brother had to pull him off. Eventually it escalated to him grabbing my brothers arm (note: he's MUCH bigger than myself, my brother, or my mom) and yanking him towards the front door. He said to him "You wanna know how you're gonna die?" and "You're going to die today." My brother had to struggle to not let him pull him outside the door. Then Q told my brother "You're lucky there are people out here. You're not going to die today." I guess it was at that point that my brother figured he needed to get help so he calmly led Q back into my mom's room where she was.

From there Q started saying something like, "What do you think the worst way to die is?" and my mom kind of shut it down, jokingly telling him they weren't going to talk about things like that. This is when she noticed him looking down at a hunting knife my brother has. He reached for it and my mom had to rush over to stop him from unsheathing it. I think she realized something was wrong then and decided that they would all go on a walk to get him out of the house. During the walk she tried to distract him and take his mind off of things but he kept getting worse and worse. He said things like, "Your family will be the first to die." and things about cutting us in half. Just the whole time it was awful and brutal.

When they got back from the walk she had to keep him from getting back inside our house. He put his face up close to hers and kept questioning her about "How do you know your family won't die?" and things of that nature. He finally went back home. My mom talked to his mom who said that he's been violent before. Like so violent that her boyfriend has had to restrain him physically and that he's chased his sister out of the house with glass violent. He's had the cops called on him, he's been baker acted, etc. But we're still all really shaken up about it. We're keeping every door locked and none of us feel safe having him back in our house. He won't be coming back over.

But the point is - is this "normal"? I know that it can be different for each person but I've never experienced this. Working with autistic kids some of them were never violent, some were occasionally violent, and there were a few times I had to restrain kids from hurting themselves/others. I've gotten my hair pulled, I've been kicked in the face, I've had things thrown at me. But nothing has scared me like this. All those other times the kids were in a fit and didn't hurt on purpose. But he was completely calm and looked her right in the eyes when he threatened to kill our whole family. Has anyone experienced anything like this before and how should we deal with it?

Thanks!

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