Brother of autistic adult, at my limit's, need support

Discuss getting a diagnosis, educational help & electronic devices and apps for autism.

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Brother of autistic adult, at my limit's, need support

Postby Crakken » Fri May 19, 2017 7:24 pm

My brother was diagnosed about 15 years ago at age 3. He is now 18 going on 19. Very recently, I feel that he has been getting more and more difficult, and I don't exactly know what to do. These are some of the following things which have been happening fo rthe past 2 years that have been making things very difficult:

- He will randomly punch his head, HARD, like hearing it in the next room hard. I don't think I have seen the actual color of his temples for years, now. They are consistently red and swollen.

- Self harming by biting. HE has bitten his wrists raw, and they are swollen and scarred, if they aren't bleeding.

- His noise level. He makes random noises, screams (joy and anger) extremely loud and constant. Have had the police called to our house multiple times, thinking there is something going on.

- Obsession with electronics. He can't even stay away from a computer, smartphone or tablet for more than 2 minutes without losing his mind. On top of it, he doesn't even do anything constructive like play a good game. He just watches crap on youtube, nothing coherent.

- Extremely sensitive, especially to other children. We can't go anywhere together as a family, haven't been able to for the last 2 years. As soon as he hears a child even make a small sound, he starts a tantrum in public. Mos people are understanding, but it doesn't stop the embarrassment any less.

- Masturbating, erections, and other lewd behavior in public and private. His hand is never away from his crotch. He walks around constantly with

None of these, apart from minor stimming ad tantrums were ever present before he turned 16. Before that, he was always a quiet, curious and happy kid, one who was making a lot of progress in social and cognitive interactions. I feel that he has actually regressed a lot, and I don't know what to do. My parents, especially my father, don't listen to a word I say. They indulge his every single whim, and reward his bad behavior. He has learned that if he screams like a maniac, he gets his way. Tell him to take a break from electronics? HE won't stop until my father screams at me to let him do what he wants. HE is actually calmer when my father isn't home.

I have pointed this out to my father, but he is too proud and stubborn to actually admit anything. I don't doubt his love for my brother, but he refuses to learn and listen to anything that my mom, my sister or I tell him. In fact, he double downs and gives my brother even more things. He runs Youtube on three different devices at some times, for God's sake, because my father let's him have it. If we take something away, my father get's mad at us. When we take initiative to do something, he quickly shoots it down because it is a "waste of time/money". He is always looking for "cures" and quick fixes, and get's angry when it doesn't produce results fast enough, to the point that he shuts it down. We have tried unsuccessfully to get my brother involved in after school/job training, but my father simply replies "what is he going to school for, then?

I am gtting really worried about his future, and am afraid that my brother is too far "gone" to function. I know that this is a bit callous, but this is how I feel. I can't find any programs for adults that take people who are as extreme as my brother. The well adjusted autistic adults actually had parents who took initiatives and followed through on their activities. I am afraid that my family and I have all failed my brother.

Dr. Krakouer
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon May 01, 2017 8:58 am

Re: Brother of autistic adult, at my limit's, need support

Postby Dr. Krakouer » Sun May 21, 2017 8:00 am

Greetings Crakken, I can certainly appreciate that you have your hands full with the behavior your brother exhibits. However, I want to clarify this situation and would appreciate if you could reply to following the questions:
1. What intervention therapy has your brother received since his diagnosis some 15 years ago?
2. Why is it that you appear to be the only member in your family who is concerned about your brother's behavior?
3. Why is your father unable to accept the current scenario surrounding your brother? Surely it t must be abundantly and indeed frequently exhibited in your household and your father?
4. Does your brother currently receive any therapy to address his immediate problems, especially his self harming and OCB"s ?

Happy to talk further. Regards Dr. Krakouer

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