Single parenting with a child on the spectrum-help

Discuss getting a diagnosis, educational help & electronic devices and apps for autism.

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Single parenting with a child on the spectrum-help

Postby Mighty1023 » Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:58 pm

Hi everyone. I am a single parent of two wonderful children. My son 6 years soon 7 years was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety at age 5 and now with functioning autism

What are you all doing to help your child? My son does not do well in groups and gets easily overstimulated which triggers aggression and frustration. One on one and quiet learning and environments are best for him.

What options do I have in regards to education and summer care for a child on the spectrum? What did you do? As a single parent I cannot quit work or homeschool.
I want to help my son as best as I can but am lost in the jungle of no practical advise from doctor's or psychiatrists

With school starting soon I wonder what you are all doing in regards to education? Did you hold your child back a year to mature and stabilize first? He is very bright and can be loving, is highly sensitive with little self esteem and does much better with older children than his age or younger

Any advise is appreciated!

Thank you!

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Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2017 7:53 am

Re: Single parenting with a child on the spectrum-help

Postby Britinusa » Tue Jul 18, 2017 7:59 am

'Im in a similar situation, a widower, with a son who is 9 turning 10 soon hes on the spectrum, and is starting to have anger issues, i feel like i have no control anymore and its effecting the relationship i am in.
I'm trying to find out what i can do when he is pulling his hair and getting angry and it seems like he wants to hit me when he gets like that, nothing i say or do seems to get through to him, he stands there and screams and cries (no tears, just a fake crying)

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Re: Single parenting with a child on the spectrum-help

Postby Santosg » Fri Jul 21, 2017 4:10 am

Single parenting is very hard, so the first thing I would do is to recommend that you find a source of joy that gives you a space to raise your emotional energy so that you are capable of meeting your sons issues directly. When we are emotionally exhausted it can be very difficult to find enough strength to properly take care of ourselves or others. So, in taking care of yourself, you are doing something important in helping your son.

In terms of your son, don't allow his anxiety and autism to move you always away from 'busy places' or allow him to avoid associating with people his own age. I don't know the issues that you are facing specifically, but the only way to overcome the barriers that these challenges present is by directly engaging them in gentle and positive ways.

Much of anxiety has to do with people not knowing what to do and the best way to behave and speak in public. So, that means that you have to run simulations with him. You have to be able to teach him to both understand social situations and also be prepared to engage in them.

I think that it might also be worth looking it special Olympics activities--such as unified sports, that help him to learn team work and engage in more dynamic and mutually interdependent activities. Give him big rewards for any progress he makes--set goals: if you do this, we can do this. If he does not do it, praise him for is progress, but only deliver the goods when he's done his part. You always explain to him that you are asking only things that you know he is capable of and you want to see him use his potential. BELIEVE IN HIM, because no child is truly able to believe in themselves.

As a single parent, you might also be dealing with worries and anxiety. Do not allow yourself to use him as an emotional blanket, do not let him into your world of concerns. You must appear to be in charge and able to provide basically an unquestioning 'safety' to his world, even if that's not completely true. No talk about 'we don't have the money', 'I don't know what to do.' You are in charge and you can 'handle things.' This is also an important way to help to dissipate his anxiety.

See this as a great challenge in your life, but a journey and not a punishment. There is something great in both you and your son, one that this common struggle can help to shape you both into stronger people, closer to each other, and able to face challenges that you never imagined before. Strength. Joy. Faith/Purpose. Overcome, together.

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