we are lacking family support is anyone in this boat also

Discuss getting a diagnosis, educational help & electronic devices and apps for autism.

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b's mom
Posts: 370
Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2005 12:30 am

Postby b's mom » Sat May 14, 2005 11:41 pm

Gracies mom: I'm so sorry you aren't getting the support you sure need and should have. I don't understand how you can watch a child suffer and not even look into what can help. Do they admit he is autistic or is that where the problem begins? Is it the treatments you think they are more against or don't believe in? I'm so sorry. My DH's family do not have much and his brother has issues. I worry sometimes that they may need financial help and we are so strapped. We sacrifice to live in a good area that has GREAT schools and talk about moving almost every other day because we penny pinch. Now with Bobby having aspergers, DH's family not being responsible, my older daughter becoming a teenager... I worry a lot. I hope your in-laws see some proof they can believe in and finally give you some help. (hug)

Grandma C: You are one awesome grandma! I know your posts will either make me laugh, cry or say YEA! You say things I think many of us wish we could say! :) My mom is extremely supportive. She trusts my judgement and we have always been very close. She knows I wont jump into anything so that helps. She did resist at first admitting Bobby had a problem but once she saw me rationalize it and give my argument, she bended and now she's even offered money if I need it for Bobby's IEP (a lawyer or advocate -but we are doing it on our own). She is COMPLETELY 100% for the diet. She saw with her own eyes the changes in him and the timing of the diet. You can't change that much in 2 months! -something had to cause that. Anyway, we've experienced the other side with my husband's parents. DH's family have issues with alcohol so that doesn't help. His mom is... .well let's just say her son's call her the "dragon lady". That should sum it up quite well. ;) She wont even admitt that Bobby has asperger's. She gets very angry when we talk about the school and tells of the story when she went in to talk about her youngest (DH's youngest brother). She was so upset with the counselor one day that she sassed back and left the office. ugh

Well, I think it's awful that we have to live with the heartache or reality of what are children will have to face and what we have to face let alone do it without proper support. I thank all of you here and my mother every day!!!

((((HUGS))))
audrey

Guest

Postby Guest » Sun May 15, 2005 2:09 am

b's mom wrote:Gracies mom: I'm so sorry you aren't getting the support you sure need and should have. I don't understand how you can watch a child suffer and not even look into what can help. Do they admit he is autistic or is that where the problem begins? Is it the treatments you think they are more against or don't believe in? I'm so sorry. My DH's family do not have much and his brother has issues. I worry sometimes that they may need financial help and we are so strapped. We sacrifice to live in a good area that has GREAT schools and talk about moving almost every other day because we penny pinch. Now with Bobby having aspergers, DH's family not being responsible, my older daughter becoming a teenager... I worry a lot. I hope your in-laws see some proof they can believe in and finally give you some help. (hug)

Yes they do admit she is autistic, but what I get from my mother is "I told you something was wrong with her, I told you that her flapping wasn't normal" I think they all think I am a crazy mother clinging to one last hope of "fixing" my daughter. "my mother reminds often that she may never talk". I try to tell my mother what bio-medical is about, I'm a nurse, she just looks at me and says "so she is broke" I tell her yes she is broke, she just doesn't understand. In the begining my mother in law "oh we just need to love her". My mother in law is better now. My parents would only let go of their money if we were living in box and eating pork and bean out of a can with our fingers. My parents will be the only parents in world that will have a hearse pulling a u-haul when they pass. Thanks for your support.

Grandma C: You are one awesome grandma! I know your posts will either make me laugh, cry or say YEA! You say things I think many of us wish we could say! :) My mom is extremely supportive. She trusts my judgement and we have always been very close. She knows I wont jump into anything so that helps. She did resist at first admitting Bobby had a problem but once she saw me rationalize it and give my argument, she bended and now she's even offered money if I need it for Bobby's IEP (a lawyer or advocate -but we are doing it on our own). She is COMPLETELY 100% for the diet. She saw with her own eyes the changes in him and the timing of the diet. You can't change that much in 2 months! -something had to cause that. Anyway, we've experienced the other side with my husband's parents. DH's family have issues with alcohol so that doesn't help. His mom is... .well let's just say her son's call her the "dragon lady". That should sum it up quite well. ;) She wont even admitt that Bobby has asperger's. She gets very angry when we talk about the school and tells of the story when she went in to talk about her youngest (DH's youngest brother). She was so upset with the counselor one day that she sassed back and left the office. ugh

Well, I think it's awful that we have to live with the heartache or reality of what are children will have to face and what we have to face let alone do it without proper support. I thank all of you here and my mother every day!!!

((((HUGS))))
audrey

B Grandma C

Postby B Grandma C » Sun May 15, 2005 8:58 am

I JUST GOT MY (I'M SURE) BIGGEST CHUCKLE FOR THE DAY. THE STORY ABOUT THE HEARSE CARRYING A U-HAUL IS JUST TOO FUNNY :D :D !
IT ISN'T REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE OF WHAT IT STANDS FOR, BUT THE WAY YOU WORDED IT WAS JUST TOO GREAT! I WILL SAVE THAT ONE IN MY MIND FOR RAINY MONDAYS!

AUDREY, I THINK MY KIDS THINK I SAY WHAT I THINK A LITTLE TOO MUCH :oops: . I TRY TO DO IT LOVINGLY AND POLITELY, BUT I AM GETTING TOO OLD TO KEEP EVERYTHING TO MYSELF! THAT MADE ME :lol: TOO!

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS FORUM. I WAS GOING TO DROP OUT A WHILE BACK BUT I REALIZED I WOULD HURT MYSELF. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE WHO KNOWS HOW I FEEL!! MY HUSBAND WON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING NEGATIVE SO I CAN'T TALK TO HIM AT ALL!!!! MY "KIDS" LIVE WITH THEIR CONCERNS ABOUT EVAN 24/7 SO I TRY TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE AROUND THEM AND JUST LOVE HIM. MY OTHER "KIDS" ARE BEGINNING TO FEEL THAT EVAN IS THE ONLY CHILD I TALK ABOUT SO I HAVE TO COOL IT THERE TOO. MY SISTERS AND BROTHER AND MY GOOD FRIENDS ARE A BLESSING; BUT, AS MUCH AS THEY LOVE EVAN, NO ONE TRULY CAN UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IT YOURSELF.

GRATEFULLY,

GRANDMA C

Gracie's mom

Postby Gracie's mom » Sun May 15, 2005 12:30 pm

B Grandma C wrote:I JUST GOT MY (I'M SURE) BIGGEST CHUCKLE FOR THE DAY. THE STORY ABOUT THE HEARSE CARRYING A U-HAUL IS JUST TOO FUNNY :D :D !
IT ISN'T REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE OF WHAT IT STANDS FOR, BUT THE WAY YOU WORDED IT WAS JUST TOO GREAT! I WILL SAVE THAT ONE IN MY MIND FOR RAINY MONDAYS!

AUDREY, I THINK MY KIDS THINK I SAY WHAT I THINK A LITTLE TOO MUCH :oops: . I TRY TO DO IT LOVINGLY AND POLITELY, BUT I AM GETTING TOO OLD TO KEEP EVERYTHING TO MYSELF! THAT MADE ME :lol: TOO!

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS FORUM. I WAS GOING TO DROP OUT A WHILE BACK BUT I REALIZED I WOULD HURT MYSELF. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE WHO KNOWS HOW I FEEL!! MY HUSBAND WON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING NEGATIVE SO I CAN'T TALK TO HIM AT ALL!!!! MY "KIDS" LIVE WITH THEIR CONCERNS ABOUT EVAN 24/7 SO I TRY TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE AROUND THEM AND JUST LOVE HIM. MY OTHER "KIDS" ARE BEGINNING TO FEEL THAT EVAN IS THE ONLY CHILD I TALK ABOUT SO I HAVE TO COOL IT THERE TOO. MY SISTERS AND BROTHER AND MY GOOD FRIENDS ARE A BLESSING; BUT, AS MUCH AS THEY LOVE EVAN, NO ONE TRULY CAN UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IT YOURSELF.

GRATEFULLY,

GRANDMA C


Grandma C,

I just want to say how lucky your children and grandchildren are to have such a warm and loving person in their lives. What I wouldn't give to have that. Thanks for staying on the board, I know we are all glad for that!! :D

Guest

Postby Guest » Sun May 15, 2005 1:54 pm

grandma c... no, my in-laws never came around. my husband's dad told me that it was my fault that joshua was the way he was. he said that i should have aborted he and his twin, since his twin had down's syndrome. i told him that he was an awful man, and to never talk to me again. by the way, he said that in front of joshua. :x i took joshua back to his school in nashville the next day, and never saw the old buzzard again. my husband called the next week and told me that he died. ( I will always believe that he got struck down for being so cruel.) so joshua never wanted anything to do with my husband's family. now since he is well, his grandma wants to see him, but it is too late. my son will have nothing to do with her.

sorry about the sad story. i hope that your family appreciates you, as they are very lucky to have you. :) terresa

B Grandma C

Postby B Grandma C » Sun May 15, 2005 1:58 pm

TERRESA - WHAT A TERRIBLY SAD STORY! AND SADDEST OF ALL IS THE IGNORANCE OF SOME PEOPLE. I THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THING IN BANNING THEM! MY HEART WAS BROKEN JUST READING WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH!!!!

I AM NOT SURE IF MY KIDS APPRECIATE ME ALL THAT MUCH. I AM "JUST MOM". MAYBE I COME ACROSS HERE NICER THAN I REALLY AM :wink:

LOVE,

GRANDMA C

mouseker
Posts: 1004
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 7:22 pm

Postby mouseker » Sun May 15, 2005 5:40 pm

I did the same thing different but similar situation with one of my husbands friends. Completely cut him out of our lives, so I totally understand what you did. My question is this, did his wife support him in his beliefs and if so then you are so totally justified in keeping her away. But if she doesn't believe the same way then it's just sad all of the damage your father in law did to your family. Sometimes you just have to protect yourself and your loved ones.


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