"Autistic kids fall victim to parents who run amok"

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BTDT
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"Autistic kids fall victim to parents who run amok"

Postby BTDT » Mon Jun 05, 2006 7:05 am

http://www.dispatch.com/editorials-stor ... B5-02.html

The Columbus Dispatch

Autistic kids fall victim to parents who run amok

Sunday, June 04, 2006
DEBORAH KENDRICK

Anyone who has been a parent has at least one terrible moment where caring for a child seemed unbearable. Inconsolable infants, recalcitrant toddlers, preschoolers who refuse to sleep. I know; I had mine.

Once, my 2-year-old son screamed and shook his crib until . . . what? Until I thought I’d strangle him or drown us both? Who knows?

What I did, in fact, was go outside, closing the door behind me, and stand in the blissful silence. I breathed. I probably prayed. And I breathed some more. Then, because parents love their children more than life itself, I went back indoors, lifted my baby out of his crib, and administered whatever caretaking machinations were required until he was satisfied and we both were smiling.

None of my children is autistic. They did, however, have special needs, because all children have special needs. But no amount of rationalization or putting myself in another mother’s shoes can assist me in wrapping my mind around the actions of Karen McCarron or Agnes DeGroot these past few weeks.

DeGroot and her husband, Nicolaas, are charged with setting fire to their apartment in Linn County, Oregon, on May 14. Police reports indicate they locked the windows and door and left. Inside was 19-year-old Christopher DeGroot, who neighbors heard pounding on the walls. He died four days later. He was autistic.

And then there was little Katherine McCarron. She was diagnosed with autism at age 2. Her paternal grandfather describes her as a child who laughed at being tickled, said "I love you" and played with dolls. But autism means many different things in the lives of many children. In Katie’s case, she didn’t always sleep well, and she learned to communicate more slowly than "typical" toddlers.

Her mother, a physician, and her father, an engineer, had agreed to live apart 20 months in order to get Katherine quality services in another state. Finally, though, they agreed it was time to bring the family back together at their home near Peoria, Ill.

We’ll never know what the little girl might have become or how she might have flourished in her upscale neighborhood with both parents. On May 13, Dr. McCarron confessed to putting a plastic bag over her 3-year-old’s head until she suffocated.

What is wrong with these people?

And now there’s Autism Every Day,a13-minute film aired at a New York City fundraiser and again on MSNBC. Some disabilityrights leaders fear it could persuade some people that raising an autistic child is so unbearable that murder, suicide or some combination thereof is understandable.

That’s where Adolf Hitler’s slaughtering crusade began: Put those poor imperfect babies out of their misery and an bring end to their parents’ suffering.

One mom in Autism Every Day states pathetically that her child will never marry. "How do you know that?" is what my heart is screaming at her.

Did anyone know when Temple Grandin was 3 or 6 or 10 that she would become a world renowned scientist and writer?

I’ve heard parents of deaf kids, blind kids, kids with Down syndrome and other disabilities make the same kinds of pronouncements: My child will never (fill in the blank). To all of them I say no human can predict what another human will accomplish.

One parent can raise a child who is brilliant, athletic and gifted, but turns out to be a murderer, arsonist, or thief. Another can raise a child who has significant disabilities but becomes an inventor, political leader or humanitarian.

To raise a child with autism is a daunting task that takes boundless reserves of energy, vigilance and devotion. As a society, we need to help parents who have been assigned such jobs for which they never applied.

But to justify hurting or murdering any child is garbage.

A child is the greatest gift there is. A parent who destroys that gift deserves no pity.

Deborah Kendrick is a Cincinnati writer and advocate for people with disabilities.


dkkendrick@earthlink.net

Joey'smom
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Postby Joey'smom » Mon Jun 05, 2006 10:25 am

WONDERFUL!! Thanks for posting!

.
Joey, 10 yrs., PDD-NOS was our last dx
GFCF, Yasko, ABA
Hoping to get to RDI

Mary
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Postby Mary » Mon Jun 05, 2006 1:10 pm

None of my children is autistic. They did, however, have special needs, because all children have special needs. But no amount of rationalization or putting myself in another mother's shoes can assist me in wrapping my mind around the actions of Karen McCarron or Agnes DeGroot these past few weeks.


I will never pretend to understand the actions of a parent who kills a child. From the newspaper stories I've read about their trials, often the parent is emotionally unstable, psychotic, mentally ill, clinically depressed, suffering from childhood abuse/trauma, or sociopathic.

I can't "justify" anything, not knowing the facts of these cases of which Ms. Kendricks' writes, nor would I want to even if I did. That's for God and the criminal justice system to sort out.

Oddly for a disability activist, Ms. Kendrick hasn't bothered to consider whether mental illness may play a role in this story, because she hasn't waited for the facts to come out at trial.

In an earlier column, she writes:
Mental disabilities - conditions that impair thinking, feeling, behavior - affect one in five of us. Four of the ten most prevalent disabilities worldwide are mental disorders (depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder) and yet, the word "disability" still conjures for many only the types of disability with physical symbols like wheelchairs, guide dogs, or hearing aids. Mental disabilities are equal opportunity illnesses, having no preferred gender, race, or age group. The pain and dysfunction wrought by a mental disorder can disrupt a person's education, employment, and personal relationships.

Yet, only half of all Americans with mental disorders are receiving treatment.


Yes, how true. One in five people has a mental disability. Is it possible that that's what's going on here, rather than "parents of autistic kids run amok," as she has concluded?

And now there's Autism Every Day,a13-minute film aired at a New York City fundraiser and again on MSNBC. Some disability rights leaders fear it could persuade some people that raising an autistic child is so unbearable that murder, suicide or some combination thereof is understandable.

That's where Adolf Hitler's slaughtering crusade began: Put those poor imperfect babies out of their misery and an bring end to their parents' suffering.


Hitler's murder of six million Jews had something to do with overburdened parents complaining of "imperfect babies"? I don't remember that in my history books.

I previewed Autism Every Day. It is an upclose, personal and uncomfortable look at raising a young child with severe autism. It's not warm and fuzzy. If you have a child with severe autism, which Ms. Kendrick doesn't, it may ring true for you.

Sorry, but this is life, this is reality for some people, people who don't harm their children. Should we have to sugarcoat it or pretend that it's easier than it is, so it doesn't make you, Ms. Kendrick, uncomfortable? I don't think so. Part of accepting disability is accepting the behaviors that may come along with it, even if those behaviors may make a neurotypical person uncomfortable.

In part of the film, parents talk about the lack of acceptance by people in their community, people who judge them because of their children's behavior. One parent says there is no kindergarten program for her child with autism to attend.

Maybe Ms. Kendrick should listen to those parts again before making comparisons to Hitler.

I urge everyone here to preview the film rather than accept Ms. Kendrick's review.

BTDT
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Postby BTDT » Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:57 pm

Part of accepting disability is accepting the behaviors that may come along with it, even if those behaviors may make a neurotypical person uncomfortable.


I think her point is that these behaviors are making the autistic children's parents so uncomfortable, that the parents feel the behaviors are so intolerable, that this is what led to the actions.

Lots of people, Ms. Kendricks included, live lives that may be more difficult due to disablities. There is the saying "focus on the ability, not the disability", for some reason that doesn't get said much in relation to autism. Why is that?

I don't think that Ms. Kendrick is saying that watching "Autism Every Day" made her uncomfortable because of the behaiviors depicted either. I think she is saying that she feels that movie, by protraying autistic behavior in such an intolerable way, leads to intolerance of autism and other disabilities.

I'm not sure what the purpose is making an autism horror show type of film. Is it to make others feel sorry for us so they'll give more money? Is it to make others feel sorry for parents? Is it to make others feel sorry for our children? Is that really what we want? I know I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or my son. I don't feel that's going to help anyone.

It is possible that the parents that committed these murders are mentally ill, and the fact that their children were autistic had nothing to do with why they were murdered. However, in the McCarron case, if she was psychotic and unable to tell right from wrong, why did she not kill her other child?

In some ways it doesn't matter that we don't know exactly why these parents killed their children. However, the possibility exists that it is because they were autistic, and just because this possibility exists, don't you think it would be wise to take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again?

MCA
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Postby MCA » Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:03 pm

None of my children is autistic. They did, however, have special needs, because all children have special needs.
This is exactly the kind of ignorant, insensitive, arrogant statement I would have made before becoming the parent of a child with Special Needs. Real ones. There's obviously a difference. My other child has special needs in that she is overemotional, or shy, or impulsive... those are not the same. Stupid but deliberate misuse of language on the author's part.

I'm sure the little guy I used to teach with his organs on the outside of his body would be happy to hear his special needs are on par with those of "all children" according to this author.

Ugh.

BTDT
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Postby BTDT » Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:10 pm

MCA,

I'm not sure if you realize it or not, or if it would make a difference in your feelings about whether she is qualified to comment, but the author is blind.

Mary
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Postby Mary » Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:49 pm

I don't think that Ms. Kendrick is saying that watching "Autism Every Day" made her uncomfortable because of the behaiviors depicted either. I think she is saying that she feels that movie, by protraying autistic behavior in such an intolerable way, leads to intolerance of autism and other disabilities.


I didn't see the behavior on the movie as intolerable. I saw autistic behavior being portrayed in truthful ways, for some children. That is the way my child used to act daily for hours. It's not intolerable; it's just reality. It's not a horror story, either. It was just my life. I didn't want anyone's pity. I just want my child to be treated with respect despite some "off-putting" behaviors. I wanted him to get help and community supports. That's what the parents in the movie wanted. They wanted people to stop staring at them and blaming them for their children's behavior. They wanted school programs designed for them.

If Ms. Kendrick had to live with a severely autistic, aggressive or violent nonverbal child, enduring the stares or comments of strangers who regarded her child as a horror story, she likely would not be so critical of this movie. And she likely wouldn't have made that reference to Hitler.

I am aware that she has a physical disability. However, that doesn't appear to give her special insight into a developmental disability. Her comment about all children having special needs drove that home to me.

She did make some valid points about loving our kids and being hopeful for the future, but her other references spoiled this column for me. I do hopes she reconsiders the impact of her words.

littlebopeep
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Postby littlebopeep » Mon Jun 05, 2006 6:38 pm

Mary wrote:Hitler's murder of six million Jews had something to do with overburdened parents complaining of "imperfect babies"? I don't remember that in my history books.


Hitler wanted to exterminate not only all Jews, but Gypsies, homosexuals, and all people with physical and mental handicaps. (I'm sure I've omitted many more groups.) The goal being that "tainted genes" would fail to thrive. I think the author's point is that Hitler was not alone in this thinking and that the greater social world agreed.
Fred, 7, NT
Barney, 5, autism

Winnie
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Postby Winnie » Mon Jun 05, 2006 6:55 pm

In part of the film, parents talk about the lack of acceptance by people in their community, people who judge them because of their children's behavior. One parent says there is no kindergarten program for her child with autism to attend.


I didn't feel that the film promoted "acceptance" of children (as children) with autism by other people. IMO, it promoted empathy for the parents and encouraged tolerance of bystanders toward difficult behaviors and bad days.

Good for fund-raising perhaps... not so good for being invited to neighborhood birthday parites.

I suppose one's opinion of the film depends on what kind of "acceptance" one seeks.
Winnie
"Make it a powerful memory, the happiest you can remember."

MCA
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Postby MCA » Mon Jun 05, 2006 7:03 pm

Hi BTDT,

Her blindness doesn't change my point. To me that would make her qualified to comment on living with and overcoming tremendous difficulty, but not prove the implication that all kids have equivalent special needs, disabled or not. I wouldn't be so bold as to say I knew what it was like to raise a blind child because my typical child has "special needs" too, I don't think she can say she understands living with autism simply by being a parent. Even a parent with a disability.


Now if her children were blind, her opinion on this would make more sense, but still you cannot compare blindness and autism.

She lumps "deaf kids, blind kids, kids with Down syndrome and other disabilities" all together. That makes no sense. If someone told her that a child will never marry because they are deaf or blind, then obviously that person is nuts.

Mary, the Hitler reference makes some sense to me; Hitler killed a lot more than Jews and did advocate the extermination of "imperfect" babies. (I lost a lot of immediate family in the Holocaust, this particular use of that reference does not offend me. For what it's worth, anyway, your mileage may vary, and all that...) But I do see the "Hitler" reference being WAY overused and it does make me very angry, just not so much in this case.

ETA: Winnie I agree about that film and the repercussions of it. I almost wish it could just be a little well-kept secret in the autism community that we could all watch and know we're not alone... but I don't want the world thinking that's all there is to autism.

Gabesmom
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Postby Gabesmom » Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:25 pm

I can see how emotional instability must have contributed to the recent rash of homocides. Whether it was genuine mental illness or not I don't know. Anyone who kills their own child has to be crazy, whether or not they meet the criteria for clinical insanity. I am bothered by the defense of the parents in this case. One can empathize with the circumstances of their lives but to even hint at the possibility that the murder of innocents can ever be sanctioned under any circumstances belittles the worth of those precious children. Personally, the McCaron case made me so angry that I had to scream, and it still makes me sob uncontrollably whenever I allow myself to envision Katie's last two minutes on this earth, murdered at the hands of a person who should have protected her life at any cost. There is no betrayal known in this world that is greater. I will not speculate about her motivations. I do not care about her motivations. I am saddened that she will, undoubtedly, become some sort of a poster woman for the plight of the mothers of autistic children everywhere. Actually, it literally sickens me, and I will not apologize for that sentiment to anyone.

MCA, you're right, autism is different from other things. I've talked about this before, about how I imagine that some people might do better with a diagnosis that is more clearly defined, so they could plot a certain course to an almost certain outcome, rather than spend years struggling with a sometimes cruel mixture of hope and despair. Still, I do believe that a woman, who has herself struggled with a disability, might have a greater sense of perspective on this issue than your average parent without an autistic child. She's been different her whole life, and though I do not know the details of her story, she seems to have arrived relatively whole and successful despite the limitations of her condition. (even with advances in facilitative technology, being a blind person in a seeing man's world is bound to have limitations) Perhaps she understands the feeling of being considered less than perfect, less than normal, of knowing how her own parents must have struggled to reshape their expectations and accomodate her uniqueness into their lives. No, being blind is not the same thing as being autistic anymore than my child's autism is the same as your child's autism. Still, our feet do not have to fit perfectly into another's shoes to share their pain. Perhaps she came across as a bit harsh because her empathy lies with the children more than with the parents, and from the perspective of a child who is it a loss to understand why his parents are trying so desperately to change him, to understand why the way he thinks and feels and the things he wants and needs are so wrong to so many people, that harshness might seem justified.

Incidentally, I was not as appalled by the Autism Speaks video as many were. I did not think that the woman who expressed her consideration of killing her autistic child and her self in front of the child in question was at all appropriate. Mary, I think it was you who mentioned how your own son remembered a lot of what happened long before he was verbal. Think about he would have felt if you had expressed such a thing in front of him and then had it filmed for all the world to see. The rest of the video did not bother me, as I thought it probably accurately potrayed some of the things that people go through, and it was definitely parentcentric in that it focused on the parent's struggles. I'm sure there was a reason for this, as adults tend to identify more with other adults. I do wish it had been more balanced, maybe showing more of the wonderful things that these kids contribute to their families and to society. We cannot ignore the everyday realities, but I do wish that we would try to show that those realities can include a lot of remarkable, absolutely heartwrenchingly beautiful experiences, and that our children are our greatest gifts.
Jennifer, Mother to Anna, 5 (NT), Gabriel, 4, Autistic

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Postby kathleenjj » Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:11 pm

MCA wrote:
None of my children is autistic. They did, however, have special needs, because all children have special needs.
This is exactly the kind of ignorant, insensitive, arrogant statement I would have made before becoming the parent of a child with Special Needs. Real ones. There's obviously a difference. My other child has special needs in that she is overemotional, or shy, or impulsive... those are not the same. Stupid but deliberate misuse of language on the author's part.

I'm sure the little guy I used to teach with his organs on the outside of his body would be happy to hear his special needs are on par with those of "all children" according to this author.

Ugh.



MCA, I agree with you. How dare she lump any special needs child in with the "special" needs of every child. I appreciate knowing she is herself blind but that doesn't change what I interpreted as her saying or implying it is no harder to raise an autistic child than a typically developing child. Its statements like hers that make parents of kids with special needs feel MORE isolated if they alow themselves to feel bad for feeling guilty that they are not totally thrilled or accepting of the disability.

Once more, her example is unfair. A toddler stuck in their crib behaving unpleasantly IS NOTHING compared with an older child or teen autistic individual screaming, being aggressive, etc. I'd like to see her go outside for a breath of air when that happens.

I am really angry after reading that.
Kathleen
Proud Mom

BTDT
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Postby BTDT » Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:18 pm

Yes, raising a special needs child can be more difficult, but raising typical kids is difficult too. (And I suppose the difficulty level might be raised a notch when the mother is blind, but who am I to say?) But, at some point you have to stop obsessing about how difficult it is, and just start doing it and enjoy it as much as possible. You know, focus on the positive instead of the negative. :)

BTDT
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Postby BTDT » Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:19 pm

Once more, her example is unfair. A toddler stuck in their crib behaving unpleasantly IS NOTHING compared with an older child or teen autistic individual screaming, being aggressive, etc. I'd like to see her go outside for a breath of air when that happens.


What do you suggest instead?

kathleenjj
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Postby kathleenjj » Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:33 pm

BTDT wrote:
Once more, her example is unfair. A toddler stuck in their crib behaving unpleasantly IS NOTHING compared with an older child or teen autistic individual screaming, being aggressive, etc. I'd like to see her go outside for a breath of air when that happens.


What do you suggest instead?


I am saying that it is not as easy to get "blissful silence" for parents with children with serious issues and I would appreciate that it not be implied the two situations are comparable.
"Blissful silence" would not be possible for some parents unless they got someone else to watch their child and went out.

We all need to have healthy stress relievers but to use that example, in my opinion, was an insult.

>What I think would have been helpful was to acknowledge that raising even typically developing kids can be stressful (then the author could share her example). Then, I would have loved to read her move on and point out that for parents of some special needs kids healthy stress relief, respite, help and support are even more critical. SHe could have acknowledged the extreme pain and despair that seems to be existing without condoning murder.
Kathleen

Proud Mom

Gabesmom
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Postby Gabesmom » Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:34 pm

But, at some point you have to stop obsessing about how difficult it is, and just start doing it and enjoy it as much as possible.



This is true, and I do not want my son to grow up and think that I portrayed myself as a victim and that raising him was a burden. Neurotypical kids do have many problems, and if you assume that your job of raising an autistic child is so much harder than a parent faced with other challenges, then you are being just as presumptious as you accuse the author of being. I imagine being a blind mother of even perfect children (not that any such children exist) would be very difficult. I wonder why we are focusing on this particular portion of her statement. Everyone has their own unique set of struggles and their own unique set of strengths and weaknesses that help them to deal or not deal with those struggles. I believe the author's point was to emphasize the fact that having a child with special needs does not excuse you from your obligation as a parent and that it certainly does not justify abuse or murder. That doesn't mean that parents don't deserve support and compassion, but I would prefer if people left their pity at the door.
Jennifer, Mother to Anna, 5 (NT), Gabriel, 4, Autistic

MCA
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Postby MCA » Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:48 pm

This article seems to want parents of kids with special needs to have their cake and eat it, too. (TOTALLY the wrong analogy but the best I could muster, LOL. Maybe, "you can't have it both ways?") On one hand, she says not to assume any kinds of limits exist on a child's future due to any type of disability. Yet on the other, she says (implies?) that there is no greater difficulty raising a child with a disability than there is raising a child without one.

If you want your child with a serious disability not to have any limits on his/her future, then you have seriously increased how hard it's going to be to parent that child. If I accepted my son's prescribed limitations, I would have a very relaxing life, indeed as I just made him comfortable for the future. I would just take life one day at a time, as I do with my NT child. But I don't accept what many experts decree for my son's future, therefore I have increased my workload/stressload by a gazillion percent.

OK maybe I'm just speaking for myself here, which is all I can do obviously, but when my son has autism-specific behaviors, there's a certain pain in it for me beyond the behavior itself, due to the very un-typicalness of it. (I'm reaching for the right words here.) The strangeness of the behavior, for ME, exacerbates the discomfort I feel from the behavior itself. That's why it's harder for me to raise my ASD kiddo. That and the fact that society is a lot kinder to "typical" parenting struggles over "special" ones. It's not just the tantrum that's harder... it's the glares, the comments, everything that accompanies it. KWIM?

Then again, I don't have teenagers yet. I'll get back to you in a few years. I'm sure my "NT" daughter will give me a few grey hairs too. I don't mean to suggest raising any kid is a walk in the park. I'm already worried about sexual predators looking at my 7 year old, (and yes, I've seen it, much to my shock.) I do think, however, it's unfair to say that raising a child with a disability is no harder. You have all the same scary issues PLUS the issue of the disability.

Gabesmom
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Postby Gabesmom » Tue Jun 06, 2006 1:06 am

MCA,

Please know that I do not intend to be antagonist, but you know, it's kind of funny, I sometimes get infinitely more embarrassed by my daughter's behavior than my son's. She's very outgoing, very interested in connecting with anyone at anytime and striking up long conversations. It seriously makes me want to go crawl under a rock sometimes. It's completely out of my comfort zone to engage total strangers when I haven't prepared myself in advance. Still, I try to allow her to express that aspect of her own personality despite the fact that it pains me to do so. I am so much more relaxed when I'm out in public with Gabriel. Yes, he sometimes has tantrums. Yes, he sometimes has fits of anxiety. These things I understand, and the accusatory eyes of onlookers in these instances do not phase me. I don't know why I don't feel panic regarding his future. I don't know why I don't feel an urgent need to do everything, try everything. He's so wonderful, he makes some progress every day, he's so happy, content inside his own skin. Perhaps, I see myself in him and understand how important it is to hold onto the things that make you uniquely yourself. His odd behaviors don't bother me, probably because I'm odd myself. I have a really hard time understanding the priorities of the majority population sometimes. They have never been my own. I'm different; he's different, and we each inhabit our own unique worlds, many times unaware or simply indifferent to the world around us. I just feel like taking things one day at a time is the only way for me to live. I want to help him learn ways to overcome or compensate for his weaknesses, but I don't want to get to the point where he is spending more time in therapy than he is in play or with family doing the things that will help learn and grow in so many important ways. Perhaps if he was completely nonverbal and self-injurious or aggressive I would feel a much greater sense of immediacy, a need to get him some more intensive help. Still, I think balance is important no matter the circumstance. Further, despite the author's statement that "all children have special needs" she does offer this statement toward the end.

To raise a child with autism is a daunting task that takes boundless reserves of energy, vigilance and devotion. As a society, we need to help parents who have been assigned such jobs for which they never applied.


I would imagine that all of us could at least agree to that. :D
Jennifer, Mother to Anna, 5 (NT), Gabriel, 4, Autistic

Mary
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Postby Mary » Tue Jun 06, 2006 6:15 am

Hitler wanted to exterminate not only all Jews, but Gypsies, homosexuals, and all people with physical and mental handicaps. (I'm I sure I've omitted many more groups.) The goal being that "tainted genes" would fail to thrive. I think the author's point is that Hitler was not alone in this thinking and that the greater social world agreed.


I still don't understand what that has to do with an autism film. This newspaper columnist tried to link a film about autism to Hitler slaughtering people. What is the suggestion? That all parents of severely autistic children want their children killed for being imperfect? That they want other people's children killed? How offensive.

Yes, there was one parent in the film who clearly was overly stressed. Perhaps this is the source of Ms. Kendrick's harsh judgement. Of course, her judgement comes in the same column that makes the astonishing comment that ALL children have special needs, thereby minimizing the TRULY special needs of a severely autistic child. Guess there's no need to provide extra resources to that stressed parent, if her child's needs are no different than that of a NT child?

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Re: "Autistic kids fall victim to parents who run amok&

Postby mom_of_an_autie » Tue Jun 06, 2006 8:46 am

To raise a child with autism is a daunting task that takes boundless reserves of energy, vigilance and devotion. As a society, we need to help parents who have been assigned such jobs for which they never applied.



I admire the fact that this woman is blind and raising children however she did apply for the job as mother knowing she had a disability. That makes her much more prepared than any of us were.

As far as the Autism Everyday video, other than the fact I have a child with autism this was no different to me than sitting down Labor Day Weekend and watching Jerry's Kids and the videos showing the struggles of those children. Or for that matter when the radio stations have the radio telethons for St Judes Hospital and listening to those kids struggles. The point of the video was obvious to me. It was to raise money. I dont see anything wrong with that. As far as whether or not someone will see that video and pity me and my situation well I dont care. I dont pity myself and thats what really matters.


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