What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't

Publish Your Reviews of Books / Videos about Autism, PDD or Asperger's.

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MCA
Posts: 2124
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:21 pm

What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't

Postby MCA » Wed Sep 20, 2006 1:22 pm

This is actually a social skill help book for adults with ADHD, but I am finding it fascinating in terms of just understanding baseline social skills for teaching my children.

It's by Michele Novotni and is published by Specialty Press. I got it on Amazon.com.

I'm just skimming the book at this point and there is some ADHD-specific stuff in there that may not apply to everyone's situations... but I can really see this book being helpful for laying out a road map for where we want our kids to go as they get older, and therefore figure out what to do with them NOW. In particular I can see this book being tremendously helpful for those of us with children with Aspergers, with no language delays but difficulty socially. However, I'm going to adapt it for my ASD son.

Here's an excerpt from the book. If I'm breaking a copyright law here, just pretend you don't know me.

Imagine that you see a group of people surrounding one person who's speaking. The speaker is telling a story that everyone seems interested in. Naturally you want to get in on this, so you join the group.

"So then I went back to the store and found the woman," the speaker says, "and I told her she gave me the wrong shoes."

Of course you're confused. "What store?" you ask. "What woman? What's this about shoes?" And everyone turns and glares at you. Why? Because they've been listening to this story for a minute or two already, and they already know about the store and the shoes. The speaker doesn't want to re-explain things that everyone else has already heard. They all want the speaker to continue the story.

There are unwritten social rules about entering a group situation. When a group is engaged in conversation, it's important to stand by quietly to get a sense of the conversation before you speak. Maybe you can guess what they're talking about, just by listening. Or maybe you can ask the speaker later to tell you the story again. Or maybe you won't understand what's going on.

If you never hear the full story of the store and the shoes, it's no great loss. But if you just barge into a group and ask them to talk about what you want to talk about, that makes people think you're self centered. They'll start to avoid you, and that's much worse than never getting the details on the shoe story.


How I'd adapt this for my son at age 4 would be to work on his observation skills, both of conversation and what peers are playing, and get him to articulate to me what he sees and hears. This would require not only someone to ask him questions, but 2 other participants to role play conversations or games. But I think it would work, and I think it's important.

To make a long story short, I think this is a great and helpful book for those of us with kids with autism despite being for ADHD adults.

Now someone please respond so I don't have to look at my name all the time on the index page. :D

LittleManzParents
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Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:27 am

Postby LittleManzParents » Wed Sep 20, 2006 7:29 pm

Now someone please respond so I don't have to look at my name all the time on the index page.



I guess I owe you one. 8)

LittleManzParents
Posts: 2317
Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:27 am

Postby LittleManzParents » Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:49 pm

OK, MCA, think you can recruit someone else to take over for me? :oops:

vnm4flan
Posts: 211
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 3:09 pm

Postby vnm4flan » Thu Oct 19, 2006 12:20 am

Do you think a 12 year old could read this? Nelson is very HF but there are still a lot of social rules that just escape him. It would be useful to have it in a book he can read at his own pace...

Thanks,
Vanessa
mom to Isabel (gifted) & Nelson (PDDNOS - HFA)

MCA
Posts: 2124
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:21 pm

Postby MCA » Sat Oct 21, 2006 4:31 am

Vanessa, it depends on the child. I would be a bit hesitant because of all the ADHD specific language, perhaps a child on the spectrum might be rigid about accepting that the recommendations could apply to him? (I know my older child would.)

But if the two of you read it together, or discussed each section as he read, then yes, I think it would be very helpful.

I would be concerned about negativity in the book, though, since it is geared toward adults. I wouldn't want him to read something that might discourage him. But there'd be no question that passages/chapters, edited and monitored by you, would be really helpful. I could see spending some time at the copy store creating a little workbook for him using this text as a guide, but just leaving out whatever might be troublesome. (If that breaks any copyright laws I was just joking, ha ha.)

Let me leaf through it again (I haven't read anything since I bought it) and see what I think before you'd spend the $$$.

PS - LMP I'm sorry I didn't see your addition to this thread, your plea to be released from the depths of the book review thread...


ETA: Vanessa I looked through the book and I do indeed think it would be helpful for your son. Some parts will apply, some won't, some will require a bit of editing/discussion, but it is actually written (it seems) to a younger age than an adult despite the title and intentions.

qeh
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:52 pm

Postby qeh » Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:42 pm

Hi MCA,

My son is now in mainstream. He shows interest in being social, he enjoys people in general, he knows the clue on how to maintain friendship but he does not know how to proceed.


Does this book touches on 'interaction' thing. RDI may help but it takes years. I hope the idea on this book will give me some sparkle.
Penny

mummy of a 7 year old high functioning boy

MCA
Posts: 2124
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:21 pm

Postby MCA » Wed Nov 01, 2006 3:39 pm

Hi geh, I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner.

This book definitely touches on interaction. It would be a great idea for your son. You might need to read it yourself and interpret it a bit but it sounds like a good fit.

Debbie :)

qeh
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:52 pm

Postby qeh » Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am

Thanks Debbie.

I'll look into it. :lol: :lol:
Penny



mummy of a 7 year old high functioning boy

vnm4flan
Posts: 211
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 3:09 pm

Postby vnm4flan » Fri Nov 10, 2006 10:09 pm

Thanks so much. I am going to order it.

Sorry I did not respond earlier, I am down to only reading this forum about once every 2 weeks.

Cheers
Vanessa
mom to Isabel (gifted) & Nelson (PDDNOS - HFA)


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